Book Reviews

I can recommend many books to help you in your personal growth, but I would like to summarize three of them for you, because these three books present quite a good picture of the way I work. If you like these books, chances are you would also like the way I work here.

The Dark Side of the Light Chasers
by Debbie Ford
By the year 2000 most people we met in life, had the awareness that parts of our personality are not entirely conscious. Hence we hear phrases like: "I don’t know what got into me", or "I can’t believe I said that". But not so many have thought about how that might be affecting their relationships or their lives. Debbie Ford to the rescue. She says this: Because we are not aware of what is motivating us, we can and do create serious problems for ourselves. Then, because we are unaware of the part of Self that created the problems, we then look for someone else to blame. Ford explains this complex theory in simple, easily understandable terms that show us that all we need is intention and perseverance to find and love our Real Self, which is hidden beneath the mask we developed long ago to protect ourselves. She explains how to reclaim the Unconscious and in so doing regain our freedom, our self-love and our power to create the kind of life we want and deserve. She gives practical suggestions to show you how to bring all hidden parts of Self into your conscious control. This is not something anyone can do quickly but the rewards are truly amazing for anyone who has the will to find and work with a committed therapist to guide you through the process.

Emotional Alchemy
by Tara Bennett Coleman
A rough paraphrase of Coleman’s ideas is: Beginning in childhood and throughout our lives we tend to recreate old traumas. Anything in our childhood that hurt us or humiliated us could be re-created. In doing so we develop "schemas". A schema is a set of feelings, attitudes, thoughts, beliefs and reactions which are triggered in their entirety by an event, however small, which reminds us of an old traumatic experience. Our reaction always appears to others, and eventually to us as well, much bigger than the situation calls for. To others it can appear irrational or even a little crazy. As we learn to recognize and understand our own schemas, we can learn to disempower the triggers that activate them and learn more effective ways to diffuse the situation.

Getting The Love You Want
by Harville Hendrix
A rough paraphrase of Hendrix's ideas is: We are attracted to someone with whom we will be able to recreate one or more difficult or painful experiences or feelings from our childhood. Then we can come to understand and make peace with those old painful memories, and heal them by finding a way to create a different ending than we got the first time. This person will require from us, that which is the most difficult thing for us to give, but which will help us to grow in the way we most need to grow and the way which will bring us the most happiness. I (KP) saw and taught this principle for many years before Hendrix' book came out, so I was particularly delighted to find a book that clearly explained what I had been trying to teach.