Our groups are ongoing. People usually stay a minimum of one year, and leave when they feel they have accomplished as much as they want at this time. Some return years later for a refresher , usually to better handle an old pattern which has arisen again. This time though, it responds quickly once it is recognized.

If you have a spirit of adventure, are open to new goals which often arise when the one you came in with is resolved, and enjoy the stimulation and co-operation of team work, these groups are both enjoyable and rewarding. The process that we have developed is a powerful catalyst for change, whether you begin with an immediate life crisis, old childhood trauma, or simply an inner drive to understand yourself more deeply, to develop untapped potential and become more of who you really are and can be. I am very proud of our groups. They are sometimes provocative and confronting, sometimes exciting and delightful, and always caring, lively, thought provoking, informative and challenging.

One of the problems in the usual one on one therapy, is a danger that clients will abandon their work when they come face to face with difficult truths about Self or with the need for changes that they are afraid to make. Some people just do not have enough support in their lives to help them take the leap of faith required to take important steps. In group counselling, members are deeply supportive of one another and help each other through the fear and confusion that often precede a major breakthrough. In many instances, lifelong friendships evolve among our group members.

The group format is often faster and more exciting than private therapy, though not suitable for every person. Each group member is responsible for every other person's work, which in effect gives each person 10 therapists. This reduces the amount of control that one has over what can happen and there are often surprises. The good news is that they inevitably bring new insights and great rewards, once they have been processed. At the end of an evening, we try never to leave any group member with unfinished business with leaders or other group members. All problems in the group must be resolved in a way that leaves each person feeling good about himself.

Family Therapy is a method of helping individuals by helping the whole family. It sees the family members as part of a fairly stable system, each person playing a part to maintain the repetitive patterns of relating that are operating in the family.

For example, if one person is seen as "the problem", the therapist would help each of the others to see the ways in which they unconsciously support or contribute to the "problem" and even the ways in which the present family patterns may unconsciously serve each member. Families come to see how interdependent they are, and gradually they learn ways to work together to co-create new patterns or systems which make everyone happier. Each family member learns how making changes in Self makes it easier for other family members to make changes too. If mistrust is high or anyone feels hurt by the process we may see two people at a time or even one at a time until more trust is evident. If any one family member changes, the whole system is affected and others will eventually make changes too.

Couples who are running into difficulties or who wish to achieve a higher level of intimacy and joy in their relationships, may choose to work with an individual counsellor together using their homework to speak privately with the counsellor. Or you may wish (especially if tension is high) to work separately, alternating weeks. Much of our Couples work is in line with principles explained by Harville Hendrix in his book "Getting the Love You Want." Your relationship will change as each of you comes to understand both yourself and your partner, especially the "Wounded Child" who surfaces during upsets between you. As you learn better ways to heal your own trauma, discover your own distinctive emotional patterns which persist through life and address your own and your partner's needs and feelings. You will see a shift in the relationship. Of course, to repair a damaged relationship you will need to acknowledge all major hurts that you have inflicted on each other (mostly unconsciously). Progress requires a sincere effort to understand the pain we have caused each other. It is also important to understand your partners' old trauma that preceded you because it is probably still part of the problem. Forgiveness for old hurts is possible when we realize that we too are not without flaws and weaknesses, though they usually turn out to be very different from what we envisioned them to be. Examples of this might be the husband who tried very hard to be the best possible husband by being an excellent provider but missed out on the emotional responsibilities of marriage, or the wife who was so busy being a "good girl" and keeping everyone happy, that she missed the part about being a grown up equal partner, who is fifty percent responsible for all decision making and judgment calls in the family. When they see that their partner does want to be helpful and not hurtful, and is willing to put out effort to learn how to do that, couples can often grow big enough to forgive old hurts. To heal a relationship is to grow spiritually.

Offices in
Burlington and Dundas
905-639-4529
karylpope@cogeco.ca