Style, Methods and Problems - Counselling, Therapy, Family, Marriage and Bereavement
Safe informal and friendly - I will work with you to resolve any problem that may arise between us. Neither of us is perfect and either of us may need to “eat our shirt” now and then. I will give you the best of my intuitive hunches. They will not be 100% but my batting average is pretty good after 30 years. My hope is that you will take from them, what is useful to you at this time and just put the others on the shelf. If they are true, other evidence will appear to back them up, just as your dream sender keeps on sending you the same message in difference dreams until you “get it”.
If my hunch is not true, or not useful at this time, then no more evidence will come along at this time and it will just fade away.
None of your information will ever be shared without your written consent. For couples work, you are asked not to share your written homework with your partner though you may share verbally anything you wish (about yourself or your relationship). Please do not quote the therapist, however, or say what you think she thinks. That tends to escalate the conflict between you and your partner and damage trust with the therapist. Instead of saying “Karyl thinks you are a bully”, if you think your partner is a bully, then you state it as your opinion, not mine.
Here is a simplified summary of the methods I use. I use basic Cognitive therapy in which clients explore conscious and unconscious ideas, beliefs and feelings. We test these against the reality of today and often find out that they were appropriate when we were little but now need revision. We also use Behavioral therapy, in which, with careful and caring observation, the two of us can see which behaviours are still useful and which ones are simply old habits which you developed when you were small and had very few choices. Often the old ones are creating the very things that you most want to get rid of. As we continue to observe, you will see where and how that is happening. Gradually by changing thoughts, beliefs and behaviours, you will create more of what you want in your life and less of what you don’t want.
It is quite a relief for many people, to find that they have an abundance of choices they never realized they had. If you grew up in a family that had poor communication skills or poor assertiveness skills, you might need to learn some better ones.
The last method I will mention is Psychodynamic therapy which includes many different methods of getting to know and understand, and learning to love, honour, accept, forgive and respect, all of the different “Selves” that make up your personality. It is not possible to do this for others until we first learn to do it for ourselves. A few of the methods used in Psychodynamic therapy would be Psychodrama, Psychosynthesis, Journal writing, Gestalt, Affirmations and sharing thought, feelings, and dreams, both night time dreams and long range daytime hopes and dreams.
"What can I say to convey the changes in my life? When I think on it at all, my life is divided in two. I think of it as 'before Karyl's' versus 'after Karyl's'. The difference is like night and day or twilight and dawn. I have changed and grown in so many ways, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually."
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