Karyl Pope Psychotherapy

Who Comes

What Works

1) Active Participation

2) Setting Goals - Dare to Dream

3) Willingness to Try New Ways

New ways of looking at things, new ways of thinking and new ways if behaving... a sort of personal experimentation to see what is true and what is not true, what works and what does not work. This takes a little faith since there is always a period of discomfort and confusion before each new insight reveals itself. It helps to hold each piece of conflicting or seemingly new information lightly, not throwing it away, but not embracing it fully either. In time, if it is correct, there will be many other pieces of corroborating evidence. If it is not correct, it will just fall away. Just one little hint - if your therapist says something that makes you feel hurt, angry or even outraged, there might be a grain of truth there. Don't run away. Do bring your feelings to your next session. It is important not to waste your time and energy fighting with ideas or information that seems not to fit with the way you have always seen things. Trust the process and it will work easily for you, as long as you continue to do your part. It would never be good for you to accept something that didn’t make sense to you. It helps if you can see yourself and your therapist as detectives, working as a closely co-operative team on the case of your life. Be patient. Your own truth will emerge. It will not be exactly the way you envisioned it, and it will not be exactly the way you your therapist envisioned it. It will simply be your own Truth, unmistakable and undeniable, which gradually emerges out of the feelings and thoughts that both of you are able to risk sharing. Yes, there is a risk for the therapist too. Nobody likes to get others angry at them but a good therapist must be able to tolerate that risk.

4) Willingness to read Relevant Books and Articles

Individuals support and enrich their work by making use of books that you can usually get from the library or second-hand from Amazon.. As we get to know you better, we can recommend items that will be especially relevant to your particular case. The better you understand what is going on in your life, what others have discovered about that problem and how others have handled it, the better equipped you are to make intelligent decisions for yourself.

5) Writing

Our services include an option of writing, in addition to regular sessions. This is a unique service which we developed over many years and it has been so successful that we have never considered discontinuing it. This is the fourth method that clients use to direct their own work and perhaps the most important one. It is team writing, i.e. you write and we write, with a common goal.

Writing is time consuming in the beginning for both client and therapist and takes a good deal of commitment on both sides, but commitment is a very important ingredient in achieving success. All written work is read and returned at the next meeting with encouragement, support, feedback, suggestions, and questions to help you to sort out confusing experiences and feelings. Many of our clients choose to write their life story and the story of each major relationship. This enables them to stand back and look at their background, life events, values, goals and feelings in the larger context of their whole life. It inevitably leads to more clarity about present issues and more compassion and respect for yourself. It is rewarding to see just how strong we are to have overcome the number of obstacles and hardships most of us have come through.

Many people begin to find meaning and dignity in their own suffering and come to greater compassion for their parents, who also were victims of victims, and for the whole world of human suffering. A kinder and gentler approach to life is the result; easier on you and on everyone around you.

Our comments will help you to understand yourself and those you are in a relationship with. We help you to make connections between events, behaviours, beliefs, and attitudes. We point out family patterns which extend into present relationships and help you to see what keeps those patterns operating. We make observations about how disturbing events in your life may be related to old feelings of hurt from childhood, and we help you to learn new ways to handle those feelings in order to get more favourable results today.

When you are writing, many times your hand will tell you things that you weren't aware that you knew. A homework that starts out as a search may end up with the answer. When people get in the habit of writing, it often becomes a tool for self discovery that stays with them long after they leave us.